we're going to have a wingding!

Got the networking to work on the old G3 again. Reran the 10.2.8 Updater on a whim and it fixed everything. I'm guessing the old Mac didn't like my A4Tech USB keyboard and read it as some sort of Ethernet device. My Wintel isn't overly fond of this keyboard either. Will try to pick up an used Apple USB keyboard at a thriftshop, Computer Renaissance, or eBay.

Here's the Captain Saucer proposal for the Fox & Film Roman contest. Pat Moriarity has a good feeling about this, so who knows? My step-dad, the Yale drop-out, had a good feeling about Fun Rockets...

If you're familiar with the '80s Small Press version of Captain Saucer, this revival is almost like "CS:TNG". Also wears it's '70s Saturday morning influences more on its sleeve.

Captain Saucer Proposal
By Doug Holverson

Captain Saucer plays like ‘70s Hanna-Barbera big chin style space hero corrupted by Russ Meyer. A back handed mock-heroic homage to those old Saturday Morning cartoons. The main appeal of the show is that it mainly aims for snort milk out of your nose humor. No episodes will deadened by promoting any real morals. The viewer will have perverse empathy with most characters being lovably ineffectual in their self-centeredness and self-servingness. With the exception of Wingding, a potential breakout character that the viewers will sympathize with her being naturally nice and kind and suffering the consequences for that. Captain Saucer is a science fiction parody that requires no deeper understanding of science fiction beyond the overly familiar gimmes of flying saucers, aliens, monsters, and zap guns.

The Captain Saucer franchise is set in the sprawling, prosperous, and cosmopolitan space port of Soldier, Iowa (“the hard water capital of the world!”) in some undefined cartoon future the looks a lot like the Jetsons. (How else could a proper cartoon future look like?) When alien baddies come to Earth inflict the badness that they do so badly, they usually seek out Soldier, Iowa (“the golden buckle on the Corn Belt!”).

Nevil Maskelyn was a Phys Ed instructor who was recruited as the current Captain Saucer. His reasons for taking the job are that he wants to fly through space, punch out people, and boink space girls. Even the blue and green ones! He’s just smart enough to know he’s a muscle-head and slides through life on a maximum of luck and minimum of effort.

Bertha Athena Cassiopeia Iris Calypso Lumina Venus Nova Delta Estes is Captain Saucer’s assistant who thinks she’s a lot more intelligent and competent than she really is. She can also insult people in two languages. She also hates being the center of attention just because she is, in her words, “a scorching hot babe!” She also really hates not being the center of attention when other females are.

Wingding is the shy, bookish maid of the Captain Saucer agency. She will often pull Nevil’s and Bertha’s cookies out of the fire. At eight foot two, 970 pounds, and nearly indestructible, she’s considered to be puny and frail for a Snood from the planet Snoo.

John Harrison is the officious dweeb that runs the Captain Saucer franchise. He was once the original Captain Saucer. Now he polishes the Captain Saucer public image, by working up baked press releases.

John “Jeff Jeff” Jefferies is the franchise’s obnoxious brat techno-geek that keeps the equipment running and invents gismos of his own.

SM-10 is the agency’s mainly useless robot. It randomly beeps, plays 45s, and gets destroyed in every episode. Jeff Jeff salvages the only two remaining usable parts and fixes SM-10 by merely replacing the other 47596387 parts.

Twinkles is a semi-friendly parody of a certain movie alien. He’s been Jeff Jeff’s “bestest little pet since he ate his way out of my best friend!”

Of course the Captain Saucer universe has some amusing and interesting villains. Here is the roster so far:

Emperor Laminar is the barely half awake and barely half bright teenage evil emperor of the Lamia Empire. He has millions of conscripted minions who look like Roman Legionnaires with aviator goggles, jodhpurs, and boots.

Sophia Hagia and the Boyoids are the self-proclaimed “Kids from Nix Olympia, whoooa ooooh!” A out going and bouncy Sophia and her Devo-oid Martian spear-carriers come here to pilfer Earth’s greatest and highest culture achievement: New Wave oldies.

Pretty Princess Purri and the Neko Meanis (their I’s are all dotted with “kitty hearts”)are a cute ribbons and bows cliché of cat-girls in a rip on Girl Anime. They are also a ruthless yakuza from space. Purri is the ringleader, Sweeti is her sycophant, and Calli is just kind of there. Dainti is the muscle of the group, being able to shred boxy mobsters or pound Wingding through a brick wall without trying.

The Puzziez are a more thuggish and punkish rival mob to the Neko Meanis.

Emperor Turbulent is a male drama queen needy for all the approval in the universe. He has a burly police state in bowlers and many minions to sacrifice to get it.

Captain Signal and Noise are homage to Captain Skyhook and Static with the design reference shifted from Ed Bennedict over to Iwao Takamoto. Signal is a reluctant space villain while Noise, his pushy “minion”, manipulates him into about any sort of trouble. Noise also answers the question: “It’s an extra severe duty synthetic lubricant specially formulated with unique solvents that neither breakdown nor boil off in the extreme temperatures and hard vacuum of outer space.”

Hyperbot: Uranium Cumulus Flyflyboy 404++ is technically a space hero, albeit one imported from Japan. Unfortunately Flyflyboy became a space hero because he likes to blow up things and he’s totally whacked out with the power of piloting the big ugly Uranium Cumulus 404++ Hyperbot which has the firepower to blow up most anything.

Captain Saucer is differentiates itself from all the self-aware and self-referential Skiffy parodies is that it is a bit old schoolish in not being isn’t self-aware and self-referential. The romps are played totally straight faced with whatever is happening to the characters solidly being their “reality”. All in-jokes, meta-jokes, and pop culture references will be matter of fact played as throw away gags without any self-awareness or self-congratulation. Without the self-aware irony, this makes the dissonance even more comedic, to give the effect of watching an actual “lost” cartoon gone wrong. The series has no real nudity, any sex is implied and off screen, and all the vocabulary is TV-Y13/G-rated (the worst word used is “boobs”) so when things are often pushed off-color or the G-rated words are arranged to imply non-G-rated things it’s all the more strikingly funny. Cartoon slapstick can and will happen in the Captain Saucer universe, it has an edge because the characters can get hurt and, potentially killed, and they are dumb enough to bring it upon themselves.