There are tons of cartoon and comics blogs by comics and cartoon professionals. Here's one by an electronic technician for the USPS.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

45th birthday

Today is my 45th birthday. :\ I hope to score some shrimp in a basket later.

Here's the script that was attached to the John Henry synopsis. I don't have any more John Henry art (which is why this entry is probably a long-shot), so here's a quickie Ward Kimball homage that I drew last night.

John Henry
Jay Ward pastiche/update
By Doug Holverson


Pastiche Parables:
“John Henry Gets Spiked”
“The Hammer & Fickle”

SCENE#1: (John Henry shows up for work in front of the building for the H&O Railroad. Standing there is Shorty, a diminutive white trashy fellow with an engineer’s cap and overalls and a straw dangling from under his bushy mustache).

John Henry Hello, Shorty!

Shorty How’s things, John Henry?

John I’m rarin’ to beat my personal best rail spike poundin’ record!

Shorty Ya cain’t, all ya steel drivin’ men have done been laid off ‘n’ replaced by a gismo called the Inky Poo!

(John strikes an assertive pose while Shorty just stands there.)

John This can’t be! I’m going to the complaint department!

Shorty Ya cain’t! They’s been replaced by voice mail…

John Then, I’m seeing human resources!

Shorty Cain’t! Been replaced by web services,,,

John Then I’ll tell accounting that they could pay years ‘n’ years of wages for what just one Inky Poo must cost!

Shorty Cain’t! Replaced by computers….

John I’m going to send a memo to the Bossman’s secretary!

Shorty Cain’t! Been replaced by a robot…

(John Henry is getting unsure of what actions to take. Shorty just stands there replying.)

John Go directly to the Bossman himself?

Shorty Cain’t do that neither, John….

(John sheepishly asks Shorty.)

John Been replaced by a machine too?

Shorty Worser! Outsourced!

(John and Shorty hang their hands like they’re doing their last respects…)

John Even a dog that won’t hunt don’t deserve that….

Shorty The Bossman, maybe…

(John stands there determinedly with his arms akimbo. Shorty just stands there.)

John Somebody needs to take a stand against all these inhuman trends! I will beat the Inky Poo in a challenge! Mano y Machino!

(John points to a high propose in the sky. Shorty just stands there.)

John Henry Alert the media! A living breathing soul can beat a machine if they put their mind to it!

Shorty I’ll get pay-per-view. There’s good money in people publicly humiliatin’ themselves!

SCENE #2: (The Inky Poo is looking like a cartoonifed hybred of a comical steam locomotive and the monster truck from Damnation Alley is sitting on the farthest of two sets of tracks. In the foreground, standing on the closest set of tracks is a smiling and confident John Henry with a sledgehammer in each hand. Shorty is doing the introductions and gesturing towards the John Henry.)

Shorty Welcome people to the all time classic All American kick down and drag out man versus the machine braaaawl! On this track, at three hundred and ninety-six pounds of solid muscle, John “The Steel Drivin’ Man” Henry!

(Shorty gestures to the Inky Poo.)

Shorty And on this track, weighing in at five point two metric tons, The Sioux City Cast Iron Foundry and Cookie Shop’s own Inky Poo Twenty-one Hundred, Mark Two!

(Shorty fires a popgun into the air.)

Shorty May the best entity win!

(John Henry is running over hills and valleys while pounding away like crazy on those railroad spikes!)

John I’m in the zone today! I’ve never pounded so many spikes before!

(John Henry pauses to raise his hand to wipe the sweat of his brow and look behind him.)

John I’m so far ahead I can’t even see that Inky Poo!

(Shorty is tugging at John’s elbow):

Shorty Um, John Henry…. Look the other way….

(John watches as the Inky Poo disappears on the distant horizon, leaving miles of track behind it.)

John Duh-ang! That thing must by miles ahead of me!

(Shorty is playing with a slide rule.)

Shorty 31.09 kilometers and accelerating at point nine eight meters per minute per minute!

(John scratches his head while Shorty just stands there as usual.)

John I don’t get it… A living breathing soul is supposed to beat the machine when they put their mind to it!

(Shorty holds up a calendar in front of John. The calendar’s picture is of two gentlemen with string ties tipping their bowlers to two ladies with corsets and bustles)

Shorty What century is that sappy sentiment from?

John The nineteenth?

(Shorty flips the calendar page to a picture of a Jetsons-like cityscape with flying bubble cars.)

Shorty And in just what century is we currently residin’ in, luddite?

John The twenty…first?

(In the background behind Shorty, is a cartoonified tracked killer robot chasing and shooting its zap guns at a cartoonified Schwarzenegger.)

Shorty We do things different in these here new fangled days….

(John Henry scratches his head again as Shorty just stands there.)

John What’s an able-bodied man s’pose to do for gainful employment in these here modern times?

Shorty Well…..

SCENE#3: (John and Shorty are wearing silly hats and aprons while working at a cartoonified burger franchise. Shorty is holding up some fries while John is holding up a 55-gallon paper cup.)

Shorty Want fries with that?

John How about super duper sized?


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